And The Ash

Written December 03, 2008

The red light’s flashing and the noise is blaring but there ain’t nobody home
At least not in his head, he’s just lying in bed
Beads of sweat dripping off his own
He took half the bottle to knock him out so that he couldn’t feel the heat
Curled up in a ball, away from it all
For when it crumbled to his feet

He could cry
He could cry to himself about the failure he’d become
He could die
He could die inside, left to himself, alone

Take what you can, he screamed
Take what you must, he cried
I don’t mean to be this way
But I can’t live with myself another God damned night

Take all possessions, get out and go
As far away as you can
‘Cause after tonight there’ll be nothing left
Except for me and the ash
Except for me and the ash

Beams were hitting the floor with thunderclaps but he didn’t seem to mind
‘Cause there ain’t no man in this fatal plan
That could make it to him in time
Upon the ceiling the fog is rising, without a call to the savior fleet
He just planned to fall, away from it all
For when it crumbled to his feet

He could cry
He could cry to himself about the failure he’d become
He could die
He could die inside, left to himself, alone

Get out children, he screamed
Get out love, he cried
I don’t mean to be this way
But I can’t live with myself another God damned night

So run out the door, get out and go
As far away as you can
‘Cause after tonight there’ll be nothing left
Except for me and the ash
Except for me and the ash

His eyes began to close
His heart began to fail
He could feel the heat, hear the sound
As it encompassed him all around

For when it crumbled to his feet
He could cry
He could say goodbye

Photography by Sagar Chaudhray, from Unsplash

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Holes

Written June 12, 2008

All I ask
Is that someone tell me what’s going on
Someone tell me what’s going wrong
‘Cause I seem to be falling apart

Why, oh, why
Do I feel the need to put holes in my wall
Then rearrange the posters to cover my faults
It’s too bad they can’t cover the holes in my heart

But I feel change
A new leaf is turning over
And I’m starting over

These holes are no longer my crazy dreams
These holes are the clouds of the seven seas
They are places filled with exotic trees
As far as the
I can see the light
Shining through the canopy, all over me
It’s directing me down that righteous path
Before I feel the impact of our lifeless crash

These holes became trees to please my disease
And I feel the breeze of the seven seas
But those trees just look as lonely as me
They need a new look to show some feeling

Let’s paint the trees black and blue
For the memories of what I had with you
Forgetting you is the simple part
But my head doesn’t always agree with my heart

But I’m painting them, these beautiful trees
Forget black and blue, I will do what I please
It’s just me, the trees, and the clouds of the seven seas
And that’s all there is as far as the
I can see the light
Shinning through the canopy, all over me
It’s showing me the path to a better world
A new life, bigger dreams, and a better girl

Photography by Lujia Zhang, from Unsplash